Jockey-Abuse Epidemic Rages at Blue State Downs
Even if you’ve never attended a horse race, you’ll understand how jockey treatment at Blue State Downs shed light on electoral politics
Mark Cramer (author of Old Man on a Green Bike and Urban Everesting)
Blue State Downs is a wholly owned subsidiary of the Democratic Party. Unlike managers of other racetracks, who focus on attracting the best jockey talent they can afford, Blue State Downs managers have a different agenda. They focus on giving their wagering customers a way to vent after a losing bet. And what better method than hiring jockeys who can be blamed?
Losing horseplayers have one thing in common. Rather than doing critical post-race analysis, they externalize responsibility for their losses. They blame any number of variables, but a jockey’s “bad ride” is by far their most convenient excuse.
The Track That Designates Certain Jockeys To Be Whipped
The profession of Blue State jockeys is 20% knowing how to ride a race and 80% serving as the whipping boys of the betting public.
Jockeys at Blue State Downs are chosen by management so that Democrat bettors will have convenient scapegoats, distracting these players from the true blame that lies with track management. Among the blameable riders at Blue State are Susan Sarandon, James Comey, Bernie Sanders, Jill Stein, Ralph Nader, Vladimir Putin, and a surprising number of other jockeys with Russian names.
If you have a Russian name, Blue State Stables hires you as a blameable jockey even if you’ve had no prior experience. On the other hand, Blue State Stables strangely discriminates against Saudi and Israeli riders, despite their proven race-meddling credentials.
The Most-Blamed Riders List
As it stands, the current jockey blameability leader is Vladimir Putin, closely followed by Bernie Sanders. Fewer losing Democratic bettors place blame for their defeats on Susan Sarandon, but those who do, lash out at Sarandon with extraordinary hostility. Conveyor of bad messages Michael Moore should be among the leaders, but he couldn’t make the weight. And though he’s not the current leader, James Comey owns the distinction of being the only whipping boy among the top ten at both Blue State Downs and Red State Racetrack (more on Red State below).
(Illustration by Lliam Bosaz-Reaves)
Let’s look at the most-blamed jockeys in the history of Blue State Downs:
· Ralph Nader. The all-time leading whipping boy at Blue State is Ralph Nader, as Dem players still blame him for Al Gore’s defeat in 2000, with no objective handicapping data to back up their claims. In fact, CNN exit polls for a Nader-less Florida race showed George W. Bush getting 47% of the vote to Gore’s 45%. A whopping 62% of Nader voters were either Republicans, independents, third-party voters or nonvoters. Blue State Downs’ honored tradition of ignoring horrible racing tactics by their favorite jockeys sets aside any criticism of Gore for losing his home state of Tennessee (where Nader had no impact) and Bill Clinton’s home state of Arkansas.
· Vladimir Putin. Studious readers of the past performances knew from the outset of the Mueller investigation that Putin had not colluded with the Trump campaign to defeat Hillary Clinton. Interviewed by Welcome to Fakeville, insider horseplayer and vacuum-cleaner salesman Willy Lowman confessed the following to us:
“I posted clear evidence on Facebook, not only that Putin’s race meddling was hapless, but that it was considerably less effective than the in-your-face Israeli support of Trump. I warned Dems that if they pursued their Hail-Mary Russiagate delusions, they’d hand Trump a convenient ‘witch-hunt’ shield for 2020.”
“If Dem bettors want to win in 2020,” Lowman added, “they’d better learn to blame themselves and then analyze what they did wrong. Like maybe not running a Hillary 2.0 candidate.”
He concluded, “Losing players in search of a defense mechanism here at Blue State Downs more easily protect themselves from inconvenient truths by blaming foreign riders. With this proclivity, they oddly resemble Donald Trump and Senator Joseph McCarthy.”
· Bernie Sanders. Hillary supporters had already excoriated Bernie for her 2016 defeat. But Bernie positioned himself once more against the Blue State jockey system in 2020, believing that if he rode with flawless integrity he could win. But there was no room for flawless riding at a track whose raison d’être is to hire blameable jockeys.
“A bunch of mediocre riders, hired for the occasion, conspired to block Bernie’s horse. He had no chance,” insider Lowman explained.
“Players are now being set up to blame Sanders for the November 2020 loss of management-favored Joe Biden, a severely flawed rider who lied on his resume and was approved to ride even with coordination impediments.” (Horses are known to have difficulty following Biden’s verbal instructions.)
“I know it looks as if Bernie has caved in,” Lowman concluded, “as he now exhorts his supporters to throw away their votes by betting on Biden. But Bernie is under enormous pressure. After Biden loses in November, Blue State Downs history books will falsely blame Bernie to cover up their ineptitude.”
Postscript: Bettor Suppression at Red State Racetrack
Red State Racetrack has its own idiosyncrasies. Players at Red State identified by Republican management as having a Blue State mentality are directed to stand in longer betting lines, where they’re much less likely to get in their bets before post time.
Red State Racetrack has built a high wall around its stable area so that its fans will not see that it regularly hires Mexican grooms to work 24/7 in caring for the horses. Red State players are then told to blame the Mexican grooms for betting illegally and ruining their odds, even though the wall prevents the Mexicans from doing so.
Welcome To Fakeville! And while you’re here…if this article contributed to your well-being in a time of insanity, consider becoming a patron. You can pledge as little as $2 per month. Or click our tiny hamlet into significance by perusing our work at Medium.com. Thanks!
